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Literature
The Alamo
Oh yippee ki yay
the demons
have come out
to play
not even
needing to
be back
in full force
Because much time
has passed
since we last battled
and I had thought I won
But no
as always
I am wrong
they brought back
their knives
their daggers
their mind games
and so much more!
The new fun and twist
is they don't have to look far
to pick up more ammo
barely tapping into their stores
and while my defenses
have been down
they have snuck in
and stollen
the whole belligerent show!
I want to run
and hide
but my hiding spots
are gone
my protection
obliterated
and with no one
to turn to
I'm afraid of their next phase.
The Alamo
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 1 2
Literature
OPEN
We were
never good
for one another
Each trying to
change the other
I was this wild
spriteful
entrancing spirit
I answered to no one
Never took no
for an answer
I looked to you
to give me
the sense of security
I had craved
since embarking
the new journey
And that you did
with far too much vigor.
I tried to tame
the deep anger
that lurked inside of you
I tried to brighten
the lingering darkness
that clung to your heart
You helped me
from bubbling over myself
in times of duress
I used you
to give me feeling
in times I felt numb
But what if using you
only made it easier
to not feel
instead of actually
facing the word
and my emotions?
What if using you
only made
my judgement
cloudier
instead of clearer?
I was a free spirt
You tied down my wings
but I gave you the rope to do it
under the guise of helping myself
but what if settling down
was not the right thing for me
at this time in my life
For I have a far breaching spirit
that will be more hesitant
to let anyone
enjoy the light that comes
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 1 1
Literature
Regret
It is an aching pain
a pain of regret
a pain of regret
of all the words left unsaid
But why?
Oh wouldn't you like to know
It is a pain that will haunt me
clear, storm, or snow
How is it
you made me feel
worthless
unwanted
unneeded
for years
And yet when I
finally break the chains of sodomy
granted with the freedom of autonomy
I feel weighed down
by the new ball and chains
I placed on my self?
Regret
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 0 1
Literature
Wonderland Part Two
I left Wonderland
a completely different person
than when entering.
It was a step
I was not planning to make
but when I did
I know it was
the right decision for me
but yet after
so little time to pass
I no longer cry
yet I am not so sure
if my heart
has completely said goodbye
And for this
I am befuddled.
I often wonder about
the well being
of the ominous place
whether or not
the tea is being kept hot
or if the roses are being painted red
But why should I care
now that I have left?
Why I still concerned
after all it done to hurt me?
Will I ever
be able to
go back to it again?
What will happen
when I pass by it again?
Will I ever be completely over
the time I spent
in Wonderland?
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 1 3
Literature
Wonderland Part One
I have lived in a wonderland
And that wonderland
is now revealing
its truer, uglier parts
It enticed me
with pretty words
shiny illusions
and warmth
It is a warmth
I've never felt before
A warmth I used to
deem myself unworthy of.
It swooped under me
Made me feel special
After scaring me
the Wonderland
lured me back in
charming up
the warmth again
But now
I have been
distanced from the Wonderland
The spell has
warn off
The splendor
soured
So now that
I realize
the scary parts
are actually its foundation
instead of just
wallowing ghosts
I don't know
If I can keep
going back
knowing of the darkness
that lurks beneath
the surface
I don't know
If I can
keep it from
collapsing
before
crushing me.
So frightening
I have grown
to feel at home
within the wonderland
for the first time
and I don't know
if walking away
will mean I will be
stepping to something better
My thoughts of future
has been set
on life within Wonderland
Am I ready
to take a leap
Away from it?
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 3 3
Literature
The One's Who Leave
Empowered one
Compassionate one
Feisty one
The odes will never be sufficient
In describing the spirit
That moved on today
The shear animosity
This great woman exhibited
In every graceful act
Her love and dedication to others
Unmatched
Her fighting, spiteful, protective spirit
Unforgettable
As it kept her moving forward
Even days before death
“One to three days,” they said
“Four!” she exclaimed back.
Her passion and love of others
Will always be remembered
In the hearts she graced
With her warming embrace
She leaves this realm
A better place
Than when she entered it
And for that
We will be eternally grateful
For our loving Mamaw
~
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 2 2
Literature
The Path of Ignorance
There once were people who didn’t know a thing in the world.
They just existed.
They just sat by and watched the world and life and time pass them.
They did not know if food would appear in their hands so that they could stuff their mouths.
But it did everyday.
But they did not know.
But they did not know where this food came from.
But they ate anyway.
They did not know
and convinced themselves that they did not care.
They convinced themselves
that if the food did not appear
they would perfectly fine.
It seems so silly to you and I
But then again,
you and I know where our food comes from.
But then again,
you and I know the negative effects of not eating.
But then again
you and I know the feeling of hunger, gnawing in empty stomachs.
So since they did not know
They did not care.
But one day
the food did not magically appear
and for once in their lives
the people felt something
other than contempt.
This was almost too much handle for them
so they nearly forgot about finding food.
B
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 4 4
Literature
More Than Edges
I am pained
He is pained
I am soft some places
He is soft some places
I am strong
He is strong
I have a past
He has a past
I have had a difficult journey
He has had a difficult journey
But I am much more
Than my pain
Than my soft places
Than my strength
Than my past
Than my journey
I am funny
I am awkward
I am insecure
I am brave
I am caring
I am loving
I am optimistic
I am pessimistic
I am sunshine
I am rain
I am fall
We have the rough edges
in common
to talk about
on lonely nights in his bed
but will he ever realize
that I am more than just edges?
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 3 6
Literature
This is me
My soul has pockmarks
it has gashes that are still trying to heal
part of it feels as heavy and lead and iron
part of it feels as light as clean linen in the breeze
I am learning
I am living
I am cautious
I am believing
I know how to love
I know how to hate
I have no problems with feeling either
I am learning how to live
Finding my own way
Taking away bits and pieces of people's minds
that seem to find
that seem to make sense
I no longer wait for someone to save me
I no longer think that someone is out to get me – not consciously
I have learned
I have lived
I have loved
and I have hated
I live my life
with both lead and linen
and I would not take it any other way
Life is hear to endure and enjoy
Love and hate
Cry and laugh
It is just truth
I can't control others
but I can control myself
and how I react to them
I am a working progress
I still have cracks in my frame
Pockmarks and gauges in my soul
but I have survived
more than anyone would expect of me
and that is amazing and beau
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 6 2
Literature
I Can Be Alive Again
I was a roaring flame
I lived a lot
I did a lot
I felt a lot
Until one day
my mind decided
that this was not how
it was going to be
and the life
that was once seen in my eyes
was sucked out of me
like a precious drink
that now fed the seeping void
The late nights of fun
turned into the many days in bed
Relationships were what one must endure
but not to enjoy
I got sucked down into this whole
as I had many times before
I let it feed off of my life force
until I was left to be the shell
I still am today
Somewhere, deep inside of me
A spark of flame still lives
It bides its time
feeding off the little emotions
that I still have the ability to claim
I do not smile
But I do sing
I do not dance
But I do drink
Life isn't perfect
as it isn't expected to be
I am still living
Waiting for the moment
I can be alive again
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 13 8
Literature
Hidden from the Blue Eyes
Smiling boy
both eyes
glittering and bright
as deep and eager
as the restless seas
that surround the land.
The world
is his Louisiana Territory
full of wonder and glory
for him to explore and claim.
His parents
are there only to help him
achieve his great plans
for the ever coming future.
He is the light
they always wanted to produce
But what he does not see
are the restless nights
the flailing arms
the tear soaked pillows and shoulders
Darkness is but a thing to be explored
but to the people around him
Darkness is a monster
one must endure.
They weight of their demons
weigh them down
in hopes that one day
they will not too
anchor him
the way they have.
He sees and experiences
many horrors each day
but does not see them
as demons
but as a simple part
of a sturdy reality
while his love ones
fall into pieces
so that he wont
experience a crack.
He holds the wonder
of his world
but is being protected
from the tragedy
that consumes ours.
This is what
is being hidden
from those blue eyes.
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 3 1
Literature
WHEN WILL THESE NIGHTMARES END?
Every night
images project
behind my eyes
turning my insides
in a slurry
of emotions
only meant
to torment me
The horrors
of the world
that I have seen
visit me
so often
that I have
forgotten
a magical world
without them.
They comfort me
they terrify me
These terrors
are how I
know that I am
alive
breathing
thinking
knowing.
The touch of a
man
animal
flame
taunts me
but maybe
these fears
these weapons
are what
have kept me alive
while the demons,
that are
still loose
in the physical world,
run wild.
They give me sleep
They give me sleepless nights
They give me security
They give growth to my insecurity
But sometimes it is hard
to do anything but wonder
WHEN WILL THESE NIGHTMARES END?
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 3 1
Literature
The Car Wreck
I moved over
Your wife was a train
Getting ready to become a train wreck
Your eldest, was already derailed
and the ivy had already started to grow in
yet you still tried to clean up the old mess
I saw all that was.
My engine already grunting
My breaks already not engaging
My steering wheel already faulting
After only a couple of years of use
And when I finally crashed
I saw you running to the now double train wreck
I saw you glance at me
the bloody car wreck
"It was just a car wreck"
Because I am only a car
and not a train
So I cannot do as much damage?
So I am not as worthy of help?
You glanced my way
As I was still spurting fresh blood
And you said
"It happened,"
I cleaned up my wreckage
Fixed the car so it was drive able- barely
And drove along the road
Alone
Without a mechanic manual
I put myself together
While you were
still sorting through the pieces of the double train wreck
Trying to see if there was anything of value
You through a mechanic at me
without telling me how to ask q
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 2 6
Literature
IN UTTER DARKNESS
Cannot get enough air
for it is too dry
Trying to make up my mind
but who knows where it went?
I know there will be an end
but getting there
will be more than a cinch
Thinking too much
Thinking too little
I don't know where it went
How do you know
what path you should go
if there isn't a book
if there isn't a person
if there isn't a light
leading the ever treacherous way?
How do you dig a tunnel
IN UTTER DARKNESS
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 2 2
Literature
As Tears Run Down the Inside of My Body
Tears slide down
the inside of my body
as to not premiate their existence
by sliding down my face
Oh what would happen?
They are insistent reminders
of the issues
I am not yet old enough
to fully deal with
and I am starting
to be okay with that
But is that all right
with those I love
or those who love me?
But is that fair
for those who might
want to love me?
But excepting the situation
of variables that must have time-
But swallowing the glass encased pills
are skills I have acquired
to survive in my world,
As tears run down
the inside of my body
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 4 3
Literature
SUBMISSION
Swallow the nousiousnes down
Keep the tears back
Barricade your mouth
from saying what you are dying to say
Tie your hands behind your back
Glue your eyes to the wall
Nail your feet to the floor
to conceal the horrific rage you bear
Nod your head from side to side
Mutter your manipulative lines
Fight down the caged rage inside
In order to make them believe
They have worn you down to
SUBMISSION
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak
:iconsammyxfreak:sammyxfreak 6 7

Favourites

Journal
deviantART was on TV + join the art challenge!
A long time ago (about 24 hours), in a galaxy far, far away (down the road in Hollywood), comedian and television host Chris Hardwick introduced a segment on his late-night Comedy Central show — aptly titled @midnight (get it?) — that got many of us at deviantART all aflutter.
First of all, if you love the Internets and you haven't seen @midnight yet, you're missing out on some serious lulz. A few nights a week, Hardwick invites some comedian pals on the show for some Geek-Centric Improv Comedy. Sort of like a British Quiz Show brought to you by Reddit. Or "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" with slightly less dancing, but an equal amount of thick-rimmed glasses and awkward sexual tension.
In a segment called "Star Weird" on Monday's episode, Hardwick's guests had to choose which of two artistic descriptions was an actual deviation on deviantART. YES, MOM, HE SAID DEVIANTART'S ACTUAL NAME ON TV! MUCH WOW! The comed
:iconHeidi:Heidi
:iconheidi:Heidi 860 935
Journal
Help Support deviantART!
We won!
UPDATE: Thanks to the efforts of our amazing community, deviantART won the People's Choice category at the 2014 SXSW Interactive Awards!  We'd like to sincerely thank everyone for participating. The creative energy and inspiration that run through the deviantART community is absolutely awe-inspiring for those of us fortunate enough to be helping out behind the scenes. We truly believe that we are the greatest community in the world, and we work towards sharing that feeling with our deviants each and every day. Thank you for sharing this win with us!
Thanks to the generous efforts of deviants like you, deviantART has been honored as one of the top-five finalists in the People’s Choice category of the 2014 SXSW Interactive Awards!
We couldn't be more humbled to be amongst the other highly acclaimed finalists, but we still need your help!  This year, voting for the People’s Choice category is open to everyone, al
:iconHeidi:Heidi
:iconheidi:Heidi 594 2,183
Harry Potter in the goblet of fire by LuckyBoy22 Harry Potter in the goblet of fire :iconluckyboy22:LuckyBoy22 5 0
Literature
A Probable Entity
Do you realize
The elements that shape you
What defines your mind
Do you
Understand the origins
Of your horrors and your joys
All the people
And places you have been to
All the smells
All images and touches
Do you feel them swirling
Through your hot brain matter
Do you know why
You do the things you do
And why you feel
The way you think you should
Do you realize
Do you
Hear the whispers
Of your deepest wishes
Can you see them how
They distort and twist
Your naked identity
Do you feel it
Your skin is cracking
With noises in your blood
Your subconsciousness creeping
In your body
In corners of your mind
Can you separate it
Can you become pure again
Can you comprehend
Your elusive personality
As a realized possibility
As a probable entity
:iconElendurwen:Elendurwen
:iconelendurwen:Elendurwen 21 22
Literature
Tragedy of Existence
The world is but a play
Exercised by random
A dance of the untamed
Purposeless molecules
People being tossed about
In determined chaos
Perception deceived
By delusions of control
The biomechanical minds
Inventors of meaning
The abusers of time
Faith-indulgers born
Billions of egocentric
Isolated universes
Self-defined importance
Self-inflicted stupidity
We crawl like animals
With eyes full of dust
Everyone a falling star
In Tragedy of existence
:iconElendurwen:Elendurwen
:iconelendurwen:Elendurwen 25 53
Literature
Dead While Alive
Dead while alive
Her wrinkles made of sorrow
She paints her days grey
So bleak with hopelessness
Dead while alive
Her glasses wait for new light
Her clothes crave for a touch
Of a loving hand
Dead while alive
Her smile but a reflection
Of what could have been
In life of another
Her hair is getting older
Tears have been depleted
Every passing moment
Is a romance with emptiness
Dead while alive
Her heart still young but tired
Nobody can save her
She can't save herself
:iconElendurwen:Elendurwen
:iconelendurwen:Elendurwen 20 9
Literature
Silence Hurts
How long have I waited?
Days turn to weeks,
and weeks to months.
You said everything I wanted to hear,
but you've Vanished.
I try so hard to keep you in my heart,
only to be crushed by silence.
I can't find you.
I don't know where you are.
I don't know what to do with all of these intense emotions.
It's not fair!
Why do I have to deal with this all by myself?
Have I been mislead?
Are you really someone completely different than I thought?
Charming.
Sweet.
Sensitive.
Interested.
Supportive.
You have been all these things and more to me.
So if that's the real you...
Where ARE you?
It's like you no longer exist.
The pain of loss floods my systems.
Desperately,
I try to believe you haven't left or betrayed me.
That I wasn't being used,
and you'd come back any day now.
I just need to wait a little longer.
Fear and sorrow give birth to anger,
and I rail at the universe for how things are.
About how you are gone,
and I am,
and always will be...
Alone.
:iconKittySib:KittySib
:iconkittysib:KittySib 37 15
Literature
Winds
Life is but a passing moment
like a shooting star seen tonight,
a spark in madman's troubled mind
or was it just poets art well timed?
Perfect silence in space eternal
from where love would never return,
weak heartbeat inviting death
closer and closer with one last breath.
For the last funeral they march,
ghosts slowly disappear under the arch,
dry leaves carried across the cemetery
by wind that whispers a sad melody.
:iconrakunow:rakunow
:iconrakunow:rakunow 9 12
green dress sitting 1 by jl-modelstock green dress sitting 1 :iconjl-modelstock:jl-modelstock 297 16 autumn 3 by jl-modelstock autumn 3 :iconjl-modelstock:jl-modelstock 155 7 FAIRY GRAVEYARD by jl-modelstock FAIRY GRAVEYARD :iconjl-modelstock:jl-modelstock 184 12 Dryad Forest Spirit Cloak by enchantedsea Dryad Forest Spirit Cloak :iconenchantedsea:enchantedsea 118 4 Ombre Belle by enchantedsea Ombre Belle :iconenchantedsea:enchantedsea 580 67 THAT Dream by Kedori THAT Dream :iconkedori:Kedori 290 127 Oranda by proxi-mity Oranda :iconproxi-mity:proxi-mity 1,202 58 Gravity by PlanetaryStudios Gravity :iconplanetarystudios:PlanetaryStudios 11 0

Critiques

Activity


Oh yippee ki yay
the demons
have come out
to play
not even
needing to
be back
in full force
Because much time
has passed
since we last battled
and I had thought I won
But no
as always
I am wrong
they brought back
their knives
their daggers
their mind games
and so much more!
The new fun and twist
is they don't have to look far
to pick up more ammo
barely tapping into their stores
and while my defenses
have been down
they have snuck in
and stollen
the whole belligerent show!
I want to run
and hide
but my hiding spots
are gone
my protection
obliterated
and with no one
to turn to
I'm afraid of their next phase.
The Alamo
We were
never good
for one another
Each trying to
change the other
I was this wild
spriteful
entrancing spirit
I answered to no one
Never took no
for an answer

I looked to you
to give me
the sense of security
I had craved
since embarking
the new journey
And that you did
with far too much vigor.

I tried to tame
the deep anger
that lurked inside of you
I tried to brighten
the lingering darkness
that clung to your heart

You helped me
from bubbling over myself
in times of duress
I used you
to give me feeling
in times I felt numb
But what if using you
only made it easier
to not feel
instead of actually
facing the word
and my emotions?
What if using you
only made
my judgement
cloudier
instead of clearer?

I was a free spirt
You tied down my wings
but I gave you the rope to do it
under the guise of helping myself
but what if settling down
was not the right thing for me
at this time in my life
For I have a far breaching spirit
that will be more hesitant
to let anyone
enjoy the light that comes from
seeing it in her truest form.
Because of you
I feel even less willing to
OPEN
OPEN
Another break up poem but not with the same metaphor. Please let me know what you think. Please enjoy.
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It is an aching pain
a pain of regret
a pain of regret
of all the words left unsaid

But why?
Oh wouldn't you like to know
It is a pain that will haunt me
clear, storm, or snow

How is it
you made me feel
worthless
unwanted
unneeded
for years
And yet when I
finally break the chains of sodomy
granted with the freedom of autonomy
I feel weighed down
by the new ball and chains
I placed on my self?
Regret
Regret
This was almost a laugh at myself at my own emotion. Please let me know what you think! 
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I left Wonderland
a completely different person
than when entering.
It was a step
I was not planning to make
but when I did
I know it was
the right decision for me
but yet after
so little time to pass
I no longer cry
yet I am not so sure
if my heart
has completely said goodbye
And for this
I am befuddled.

I often wonder about
the well being
of the ominous place
whether or not
the tea is being kept hot
or if the roses are being painted red
But why should I care
now that I have left?
Why I still concerned
after all it done to hurt me?
Will I ever
be able to
go back to it again?
What will happen
when I pass by it again?
Will I ever be completely over
the time I spent
in Wonderland?
Wonderland Part Two
This is the first post break up poem. Please let me know what you think. Check out Wonderland Part One if you enjoyed this,
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I have lived in a wonderland
And that wonderland
is now revealing
its truer, uglier parts
It enticed me
with pretty words
shiny illusions
and warmth
It is a warmth
I've never felt before
A warmth I used to
deem myself unworthy of.

It swooped under me
Made me feel special
After scaring me
the Wonderland
lured me back in
charming up
the warmth again
But now
I have been
distanced from the Wonderland
The spell has
warn off
The splendor
soured

So now that
I realize
the scary parts
are actually its foundation
instead of just
wallowing ghosts
I don't know
If I can keep
going back
knowing of the darkness
that lurks beneath
the surface
I don't know
If I can
keep it from
collapsing
before
crushing me.

So frightening
I have grown
to feel at home
within the wonderland
for the first time
and I don't know
if walking away
will mean I will be
stepping to something better
My thoughts of future
has been set
on life within Wonderland
Am I ready
to take a leap
Away from it?
Wonderland Part One
This is the poem I wrote which ultimately helped me in the decision making process in ending my 7 month relationship. Please enjoy and let me know what you think! I know I RARELY post so I'm still a little rusty. 
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deviantID

sammyxfreak's Profile Picture
sammyxfreak
Sam
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
My name is Sam. I have been through some things in life that affect me still today. I am simply a small sail boat lost in a sea of words, in which I use the ocean as my guidance. My heart is made of words, and my soul is what I use to write with. Please enjoy what I have shared with the world, and if you do not honestly think it is the best, I would like to know. I am willing to be friends with most that wish to be friends with me. Thank you.


YOU DO NOT HAVE TO THANK ME FOR FAVOURITES AND WATCHES....unless you want feedback on whatever I favorite. I DID THOSE THINGS BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT THE PIECE DESERVED IT!!!!
Interests
  • Listening to: the radio
  • Reading: In Cold Blood
  • Watching: life go by
  • Playing: how to keep my grades up
  • Eating: your heart out
  • Drinking: a mountain dew. shhhhhhhhh don't tell dad

Commissions

Poems
I can write a poem for you, just give me the topic and I will do my best
Story
I can write a story of any sort, whether you want one about you, or you have an amazing story line, you are just not sure how to make it into a coherent story.

Friends

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:iconlafemmejennifer:
LaFemmeJennifer Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Heya sweetie! I remember you! Thanks for the watch! Glad you found me again!
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:iconsammyxfreak:
sammyxfreak Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Haha, no problem! I am honestly not all that active on DA anymore. When most of your material comes from being depressed and you finally find the light you had always been searching for, poems are not all that easy to come by lol
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:iconlafemmejennifer:
LaFemmeJennifer Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
Isn't that the truth!
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:iconsammyxfreak:
sammyxfreak Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Laugh LOL 
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:icongymnosophist:
gymnosophist Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2016  Professional Writer

:D:D B-Day! :party: Hope you have a fun one & that this year will be your best yet... :heart:  

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:iconluckyboy22:
LuckyBoy22 Featured By Owner May 5, 2016
Thanks for the Llama :) 
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:iconluckyboy22:
LuckyBoy22 Featured By Owner May 7, 2016
and thanks for the +fav :) 
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:iconnawalino:
Nawalino Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you for the llama :D
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:icongymnosophist:
gymnosophist Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2016  Professional Writer
:D :heart: Thanks for the llama... :iconllamacancanplz:

Your writing is both poignant & lovely...
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:iconskullcrusher129:
skullcrusher129 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
SAMMMMMM! hi :)
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