This is me

My soul has pockmarks
it has gashes that are still trying to heal
part of it feels as heavy and lead and iron
part of it feels as light as clean linen in the breeze
I am learning
I am living
I am cautious
I am believing
I know how to love
I know how to hate
I have no problems with feeling either
I am learning how to live
Finding my own way
Taking away bits and pieces of people's minds
that seem to find
that seem to make sense
I no longer wait for someone to save me
I no longer think that someone is out to get me – not consciously
I have learned
I have lived
I have loved
and I have hated
I live my life
with both lead and linen
and I would not take it any other way
Life is hear to endure and enjoy
Love and hate
Cry and laugh
It is just truth
I can't control others
but I can control myself
and how I react to them
I am a working progress
I still have cracks in my frame
Pockmarks and gauges in my soul
but I have survived
more than anyone would expect of me
and that is amazing and beautiful
even the uglier parts that I do not show to strangers
This is life
This is ME